Monday, April 21, 2014

Missing Airplanes: The Five Stages Of Commentary

Sun Tower Airplane by Robert Delaunay 1913, via Wikimedia Commons

1: Shock and Confusion
Where is the plane? How could we lose a whole airplane? Weren't there people on board with phones? Why did no one try to call or text? Can't they use "find my iPhone" to find the plane? Why not? What about radar and satellites? How could we lose a whole airplane? What about cell phones, didn't someone try to call or text?

2. Commentators Turn On One Another
People posting about cell phones don't understand the first thing about how the world works and shouldn't be allowed here on the comment boards. Where's the moderator? Even the dumbest child knows that radar isn't always on, it's not that sort of thing. Who are the idiots who keep coming in here to ask about radar and cell phones? If I have to read one more post about cell phones I'm going to kill somebody.

3. Epistemology Seminar
The official story doesn't add up. If that's what happened, how could this other thing also have happened? It doesn't make any sense. What are the odds of that particular thing happening at the exact same time as that other particular thing? Sure, they said that. But these people said this other thing. So who do you trust more? Governments have interests in saying certain things. Governments have interests in not keeping certain secrets. Governments have interest in perpetuating certain lies. Corporations have interests in keeping secrets and perpetuating ignorance, half-truths, and certain lies.

4. Questioning The Official Story Makes Some People Really Really Mad
You doubt the official story? You think governments don't always tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth? Where's your evidence, you tin foil hat wearing conspiracy theorist? You tin foil hat types make me sick. An absence of evidence is not evidence of absence. There are known unknowns and unknown unknowns. You think corporations have interests in keeping secrets and perpetuating lies? Where's the evidence for that, you tin-foil hat wearing conspiracy theorist? You conspiracy theorists disgust me.

5. Comments Go Meta
You people who are so mad about "conspiracy theorists," don't you know there have been many actual conspiracies? How does asking questions about the official story make someone a tin-foil hat wearer? What's your interest in defending the official story, anyway? Are you astroturfing? What's astroturfing? What do you mean, "what's astroturfing?" They haven't found anything; how is this news? What do you mean how is this news, aren't you here commenting? Having comments open on this story is dumb. You coming here to comment to say that is even dumber. Shut up. No, you shut up.

No comments: